I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
