nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize