i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
