Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
