So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize