I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
