is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
