And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize