This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
