You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
