Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
ttyl tear gas
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
