it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
