Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
