I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
