I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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