Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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