My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
love makes seman taste better
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Randomize