O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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