forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
