This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
