Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
