At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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