Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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