Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize