Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
