We won't sleep together?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
