i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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