Just cropdusted the office
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
