I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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