a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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