I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
His nipple licking is glorious
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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