She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
