do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
