no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
