I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
