no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
