How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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