So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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