I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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