We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
