Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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