the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
