I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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