haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize