He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
