Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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