i will never coherently bang her
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
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