Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize