She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
