I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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