GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
