sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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