I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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