Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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