all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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