Yo dont text me then not text me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
