I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
