The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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