I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize