I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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