She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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