you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
