found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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