plz talk dirty to me
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
