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i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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