Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
