Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
