I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
