Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im six kinds of drunk right now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
