are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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