there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
