if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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