whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
