i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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