my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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