whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
