so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
